"So should I let the chicken defrost or go ahead and use it now?"
"How do I get this plug out of the bouncing ball for the kids?"
"Where do we keep cleaner for the carpet? Do we have cleaner?"
"Oh, did you want me to clean that up for you?"
"I guess I'll make dinner...errrr...what do you want me to make?"
"So how do I cook chicken? Do I use oil?"
These are some of the questions I've have fielded from my wonderful spouse today. Ummm...we've have been married for 7+ years, lived in this house for 2.5 years and have 5 kids. And it's like I start everyday with Groundhog Man. The routine is ALWAYS the same, get up, clean, feed everyone, send people away, clean, people come back, feed them, shuttle people, clean up, feed everyone, bath, clean, sleep. Do it again. So since even the more moronic idiot can do it (I've seen them at Wal-Mart) you'd think that I might have married a man who despite his underwear changing issue, seems rather intelligent. But it has begun to dawn on me...maybe not.
I have shown him the cookbooks, even where we keep them. I have shown him the place where we keep the cleaners, the toddlers can find it, so it's not like it's hiding in the Lord of the Ring Trilogy. I've actually seen him make a bed, so I know he can do it. I have shown him where clothes are traditionally put when they are waiting to be worn, I must say he was surprised to discover that the drawers pulled out and everything.
Apparently with the release of a human from my vaginal walls, my husband has come to the conclusion I know everything. While you must think that amazing the exalted position my husband to put me on, it sucks.
Just make the damn chicken. I don't care, as long as I don't have to cook it myself and it's edible, just do it. Just fix the damn door or put away the damn clothes or clean the damn floor! Just do it without consulting me. Just do it. Save me the hassle of babysitting you while I am babysitting my toddlers. JUST DO IT!
2 comments:
I guess it would be bragging to say that Rob made an awesome fish chowder for dinner last night. But I know how you feel, food tastes so much better when someone else makes it.
Of course when Rob cooks, I get to clean up. Of course when I cook, I get to clean up.
I also managed to find his lost wallet again before we ended up cancelling the bank card and buying a new PDA for him. (he is always losing his wallet in the house, but thinking it was somewhere else, like the sounder train or on the trail when biking, ok, once he did lose it on the trail and not 30 minutes after we called the bank, someone called and they had found it.)
I can find everyones crap for them but I still can't find my things, so it must even out, although no one helps me look for things cuz they figure if I can't find it, it must not be anywhere.
In my defense, I must humbly retort...I mean report that I was raised in a home where mom did not go to work until my younger sister was in high school, I was in college, and my older siblings were already out of college or in the Air Force for about 6 years. So we came home from school and started homework, mom started dinner, and dad ate with the family about 30 minutes after he got home from work. Why did I need to learn how to cook??? Mom was danged good at it (but don't tell her that I married a woman that can give her a run for her money in the kitchen.)
So I moved out to my first apartment with a buddy from college, and we had the same tastes...anything that came out of a box or included pasta. For variety, we thought ahead and rented an apartment across the street from Little Caesars. So after 4 years with him, I moved in with another family with a good cooker, and then in with some friends from college who knew their way around a kitchen. So by the time I was 30+ years old, I knew who could cook, but also knew how to cook on a grill...well, at least I knew how to cook a bit on the well-done side. Chanon's helping me tame it down on the outdoor cooking.
I have to say that while it would be nice to come home to dinner, it is not a back-woods requirement of mine that the wife should have dinner on the table when I get home. It is actually helping me develop some culinary skills to have Chanon running all over the place in the evening. (She's even gone for a four-day weekend, leaving me with four of the kids...) I've had to pick up this thing called a cook book and prepare a meal with the first meat, the first veggie, and the first side. Ask Chanon about the Lamb Shoulder Chops with Honey Mustard Glaze. OK, so the honey mustard glaze doesn't necessarily go with the next three meals, but it's easy to make and tastes great.
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