Bad noises at the gym.

I wandered in to the gym last week without an ounce of desire to be there, but since I crumbled under the girls' pestering to "play" at the gym, I figured I would make it look good.

I slipped on my headphones, adjusted my mp3 player to something that seemed appropriate to a fake workout mode and threw myself back on the exercise ball to stretch. With muscles aching and bones popping, I lolled in a bad imitation of a bridge.

Ahhhh...that was nice, I was wondering how long I could stay there before someone called the paramedics. With my head teetering above the ground a weird sound filtered around the music blaring in my ears. I wrinkled my brow and glanced around.

No one was looking at me and I couldn't determine where it was coming from, so I pulled one earphone and listened to see if I could hear it again.

Then it came again.

OMG! It sounded like someone was having sex.

I sat up on my exercise ball quickly, more than willing to forgo my body's punishment and find out who was making these god-awful sex noises.

I casually saunter around the machines looking surreptitiously for the grunting & groaning moaner. I reach the farthest end of the gym where this 60+, white headed hippie was in the process of a squat when he let out this intense, guttural groan that made me blush.

I hurried away, snickering under my breath. I guess when I get that age, stuff like might me feel that way...who knows.

Things that feel lucsious

Cuddling with my dog & running my hands through her soft fur

Cuddling with my kids when they are feeling squishy

Playing with my hair for the rest of the day after it is cut & styled

Reading a book in a quiet house

Watching a movie in a quiet house

Taking a hot, hot shower after working in the cold, wet weather

That first cup of coffee

A chocolate bar when you are starving

Minky fabric

Freshly shaved legs

Sleeping in

An Orgasm

Putting on your Jammie pants for the day

A foot rub, leg rub, back rub...

A 5-10 minute kiss

Sleeping in your bed after camping with little Girl Scouts/Boy Scouts

Putting your feet up after being on them all day

A drink after a long, very loud and long day

What do you think about me?

I've always wondered what people think about me. Because God knows what goes on inside my head isn't what people see...I hope.


People are usually honest after someone dies, well sort of. More honest than when some one is alive. So I've imagined what it would look like after I die. I am hovering about my family and friends while they gather, keep in mind I would have to perished at a tender age for this to interesting.


What would they say? I've imagined many things, but how close would they be to reality? Would I be hurt by what is said, happy, touched, annoyed, outraged or what? This is the true mystery of life to me, how others view me.


Oh well, I guess I'll keep guessing...unless you really want to tell me?

Friends

People are funny, not in the ha-ha kind of way but in the I-find-that-interesting-way. The best way to see that is to look around at the people in your life. Not at your family, those people are strange and bizarre, at least mine are, no matter how you view them.

Look at your friends, those people you've let into your life, those who you choose to spend time with. This is actually a fun exercise in who you are. How you ask?

Well, think about one of your friends, got it? What personality traits spring to mind about them? Be honest, no one is listening in your head (I hope).

What would say about them? What things do you love/like about them? What traits annoy the crap out of you? Okay, got those? You can write them down if you need to...I'll wait...

How does this relate to you? Well, think about the part that you love/like and how this makes you feel. Are you missing that part in you and does this person fill that in you? Or does it compliment you because you both share it? The same question goes for things you dislike about them. Is this a reflection in you or is it something you need to learn from them?

How often do we evaluate our friends in our lives? Family, hell yes! Nothing is more bizarre the eclecticism of people who share DNA. Do you ever look at your friends and wonder what drew you too together? Why you stay together? What do they provide to you and you to them?

This kind of relationship is the most interesting in my life, the one I truly find fascinating. Spouses make sense, kids, parents & siblings make sense and how it's all connected and drawn together. But friends, friends are truly free will. And that makes them so very special.

Hangover

Movie premieres at midnight are insane, but I found myself there last night waiting with all the other crazy people for the next installment of Hangover 2. Ignore the fact I would normally be in bed at this time sleeping peacefully but instead find myself sitting in a sticky seat next to loud and annoying neighbors for the opportunity to see the release first.

I've done this before with the Twilight & New Moon midnight releases and luckily tonight we didn't have to camp in the lobby waiting for a theater. How I let Quinn convince me this was a great idea is truly beyond my comprehension, maybe because I am seconds away from nodding off in my chair.

So we sit and wait. And wait. And wait...the screen flashes, the crowd cheers, but then nothing. Chuckling abounds and voices range in a mix of snide comments to excitement. Still we continue to wait, time ticking by. 5 minutes slide into 10 then into 20, but still no wonderful graphics show up on the screen. People become restless, the energy is feeling hostile, irritability begins to rise in the room.

We see people get up and leave, a few here and there. Then more. A few people return and now talk has begun to circulate that the movie is delayed a 1 1/2hr...so we discuss whether we want to stay and wait. Why not, getting through the crowd right now would take just as long.

We look around and see a relatively empty theater, so we get up and find a better seat, woohoo, we scored!

Then a staff person comes in. Bad news, they are unable to get the movie going and we can go out and get a new ticket/pass and that they are very sorry. UGH! It's now almost 1am and we have really nothing to show for it. But what can you do. The staff was very apologetic and there is only so much you can do to control technology. When it won't work, it won't work.

So we trudge down the step looking wistfully at our great seats and join the throng of waiting, annoyed movie goers for their free pass. Generously the theater also gave our money back for our concessions, which was a bonus for me because I used my free popcorn coupon. I should feel bad, but I just sat for almost 2 hours for a movie that wasn't going to happen, so I don't.

We did arrive home ahead of schedule, too bad I now couldn't sleep and stayed up until 3am, which would have been our original arrival time back home. Irony at it's finest.

Maybe we will get to see the movie this weekend...maybe.

Teenager drivers

I've entered a new phase in my life, I knew it was coming because it's a natural progression in life. My teenager is driving.

For those who have lived it, I share your shudder. It is a horrifying experience. There is no better way to explain how you can put your life in the hands of a person who has no legal rights that are recognized. And if they happen to actually kill you, will be gifted to another family.

It's not like they listen to you normally, now you have to tell them what to do behind the wheel of YOUR car. If I had a dollar for every time I heard, "Yeah, yeah, Mom, I know!", I would have a better car!

Let's start with the word STOP. It seems pretty clear doesn't it? It means to halt all action, to cease movement. Well, apparently this was not in the manual or on the Washington State Driving test because I find when I say, "Stop", I begin to repeat myself, progressively getting louder and louder as we hurtle toward to item I didn't want to hit in the first place. When she finally hits the brakes in a bone jarring halt with us slamming back and forth like a paddle ball, I get "I was stopping" sneer. Really? My chiropractor will probably disagree.

Next is, "What are those line for?" MMmmmmm...imagine if they were there because we are supposed to stay between them. I am truly surprised we haven't been pulled over for weaving like a drunk before now, it's sad on how many turtles she has killed.

This one is my favorite, other people share the road. It happens. But OH MY GOD, she totally freaks out when a car starts following her or heaven-forbid a biker is along side the road. I have feared for the safety of those unsuspecting targets, sweating as we whiz by narrowly missing them. Luckily we've gotten past the issue of cars coming toward us, that sent her into fits for awhile and gave me some additional gray to my hair.

We haven't graduated to the freeway yet, I don't think I'm ready just yet. That may require a trip to the store for some Depends.

Death cry

We are bloodthirsty, there is no sugar coating it. It doesn't matter how far we have come in our evolution whether that is spiritual, psychological or emotional, we still want blood. Eye for an eye.

This is demonstrated by our love of violence in movies and music, our perpetuation of war-like behavior in other countries, our rubber-necking at accident scenes, our gleeful desire to the humiliation of a public person, and so on. And now the nation-wide laugh to the death of Osama bin Laden.

I love technology and how a thought, story or idea can just fly across our world in a few short minutes. And all I see right now is how people are happy at the death of a man. Granted, he is an evil man, killing thousands in a heinous attack. But to rejoice in his demise, that is where we enter the twilight zone.

I understand the need for retribution, but does it truly bring peace? Are we a better nation because OBL is dead? Does it ease the suffering of those who were devastated at the twin tower bombing? This I will never know, but it truly saddens me when other are gladden at the killing of another. How are they different?

Part of me wonders if the story is really true, but that is a story for another day.