How do people get anything accomplished who don't have kids at home? The 3 oldest are off stretching their little brains in the wonder we call the public school system and the twins are busy terrorizing my parents. And I am sitting (for the last 2 hours) writing and playing on the computer. Egads, I have things to do. When the little rugrats are home, I am a dynamo. I whip around finishing projects, making meals, cleaning the house because I KNOW that I have a finite amount of time to work. But with everyone gone, and I must say a very blissful and quiet house it is, I sit and waste time futzing around the net. Typing my inane thoughts because I can.
This happens every time I get "extra" time by myself. I should have learned that quality time by myself never leads me to finish those special projects I've been putting off. Usually I sit and read or watch TV. Sad, I know, you don't have to say it. But how often does that happen? Reading without stopping every 2/3 paragraphs to tell someone to stop touching the other. Or maybe watching TV where you get the gist of the show but have no idea of what big hoopla was over the plot of the story.
So here I sit, the cat curled up on my desk occasionally tapping extra letters on the keyboard when he stretches. And the dog stretched out on the floor knowing that she'll get to go for a ride when I am done. I have to get ready for an appointment in just a few minutes and I still haven't gotten dressed. I am so much more organized when I have toddlers scrambling around me begging for my attention. That is just weird I tell you.
But they all will be returning soon. The school children have a half-day so they will hit the door just after lunch. The toddlers will probably arrive sooner rather than later because my parents aren't as young as they once were. The lack of sleep and the constant requirements that are needed to keep up with 2 toddlers has definitely worn them down. I imagine they will be waiting on my back porch eagerly handing them over so they can go take a nap.
Then I can get back to being efficient because I have to.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Blog wandering
So some Blogs that I found wandering around cyberspace:
My friends:
http://journals.aol.com/rebelagnes/JellyLeg/
http://mycatatemybrain.blogspot.com/
Interesting or Amusing
http://wipingupsnot.com/ - Great episode on being a Grammar Police.
http://findingbeautyinmosteveryday.blogspot.com/ - Amazing Photos
http://goddessinprogress.wordpress.com/ - A Mommy of Twins
http://www.blogthings.com/birthorderpredictorquiz/ - Birth Order Predictor Test
My friends:
http://journals.aol.com/rebelagnes/JellyLeg/
http://mycatatemybrain.blogspot.com/
Interesting or Amusing
http://wipingupsnot.com/ - Great episode on being a Grammar Police.
http://findingbeautyinmosteveryday.blogspot.com/ - Amazing Photos
http://goddessinprogress.wordpress.com/ - A Mommy of Twins
http://www.blogthings.com/birthorderpredictorquiz/ - Birth Order Predictor Test
Snot
So I was wondering this morning what truly makes up snot. I know it's a gross subject and you are probably cringing in horror now...so if you are really grossed out, stop reading!
What I was thinking was that it has amazing viscosity (coefficient of viscosity - "the ratio of the tangential frictional force per unit area to the velocity gradient perpendicular to the direction of flow of a liquid"). It can be slide out of your nose like running water or slowly ooze out like lava. Is there anything else on your body that has this much versitilty? Maybe blood.
It can also change colors depending on it's environment. Going from black and dirty brown from the dust it has absorbed into it's mixture to a vibrant green when we are sick. Okay, why is it green? Does it contain some antibodies in the fluid that is going to make us better? Can you imagine how cool that would be if it did, all we would need to do is eat more. It would be even more mind blowing if that could be the basis for curing the common cold or even types of cancer...snot. Come on now, how far-fetched is it? We use leeches & maggots, why not the common snot layer. Harvesting it would be a hoot.
Have you ever wondered why it's so sticky? One moment it's like Elmers (R) glue, easy to pull apart between your fingers, sort of like pulling taffy I suppose. Next time you have to carve it out like it was coal. Then if you stick it to something, the wall, bed, clothes, it hardens into a something like mortar. Wouldn't it be really versatile if we could cure the cold and use it to affix bricks as well. See I told you it could be amazing.
So if you don't want to harvest the real thing, here is a recipe for fake snot:
Recipes: Fake Snot !
WHAT YOU NEED:
Light corn syrup
3 Envelopes of Unflavored gelatin
Measuring cup
Fork
Sauce pan
Water
Microwave oven or stove
* Permission from your family to cook in the kitchen, or family help.
WHAT TO DO: Heat 1/2 cup water just until it boils. Remove the heat. Sprinkle in 3 envelopes of unflavored gelatin. Let it soften a few minutes and stir with a fork. Add enough corn syrup to make 1 cup of thick glop. Stir with the fork and lift out the long strands of gunk. As it cools, you'll need to add more water, spoonful by spoonful.
So pick away it could be useful, healthy and the next undiscovered cure of the world. Let the kids eat theirs.
What I was thinking was that it has amazing viscosity (coefficient of viscosity - "the ratio of the tangential frictional force per unit area to the velocity gradient perpendicular to the direction of flow of a liquid"). It can be slide out of your nose like running water or slowly ooze out like lava. Is there anything else on your body that has this much versitilty? Maybe blood.
It can also change colors depending on it's environment. Going from black and dirty brown from the dust it has absorbed into it's mixture to a vibrant green when we are sick. Okay, why is it green? Does it contain some antibodies in the fluid that is going to make us better? Can you imagine how cool that would be if it did, all we would need to do is eat more. It would be even more mind blowing if that could be the basis for curing the common cold or even types of cancer...snot. Come on now, how far-fetched is it? We use leeches & maggots, why not the common snot layer. Harvesting it would be a hoot.
Have you ever wondered why it's so sticky? One moment it's like Elmers (R) glue, easy to pull apart between your fingers, sort of like pulling taffy I suppose. Next time you have to carve it out like it was coal. Then if you stick it to something, the wall, bed, clothes, it hardens into a something like mortar. Wouldn't it be really versatile if we could cure the cold and use it to affix bricks as well. See I told you it could be amazing.
So if you don't want to harvest the real thing, here is a recipe for fake snot:
Recipes: Fake Snot !
WHAT YOU NEED:
Light corn syrup
3 Envelopes of Unflavored gelatin
Measuring cup
Fork
Sauce pan
Water
Microwave oven or stove
* Permission from your family to cook in the kitchen, or family help.
WHAT TO DO: Heat 1/2 cup water just until it boils. Remove the heat. Sprinkle in 3 envelopes of unflavored gelatin. Let it soften a few minutes and stir with a fork. Add enough corn syrup to make 1 cup of thick glop. Stir with the fork and lift out the long strands of gunk. As it cools, you'll need to add more water, spoonful by spoonful.
So pick away it could be useful, healthy and the next undiscovered cure of the world. Let the kids eat theirs.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
A new computer
I just bought a new computer! I am so excited I could spit. Well, not spit because that's bad, gross and might hit someone, but maybe some spittle will fly out of my mouth. Um...never mind, I'm excited. I've been working on my dinosaur, Brontosaurus, for about 7 years now. So in computer years, it's about 70 years old. While I am not ready to shuffle it off to a retirement home, it has some good stuff left in it, it is definitely past it's prime. That time was probably about a year ago. Just running my email software program messes with all other programs running. And that's nothing compared to the security software. Egads when that updates, downloads and just checks in for fun, everything grinds to a halt. Makes me nuts.
So when I am working on my website, I have to close down everything but the bones and it still runs like mud. It takes me hours, yep I said hours, to work a few changes on the site. Usually I leave this kind of thing to after-hours or home alone time because it could take me a day or more to work through something major.
I know that I needed a new one about 18 months ago when I received a message that I couldn't run a program because my Operating System was out-of-date. So I did what all good moms do, I ignored it until I knew I had to deal with it. No sense tackling something on the first noise, why waste the energy until you have to, there is always 15 more things that are clamoring for attention. But I have reached that point of no return. I've cleaned and cleaned my disk space, defraged and deleted unnecessary files, but there is no more room.
I remember when 30 gigs was HUGE. Now I am getting 320 gigs...seems enormous, but I know that in 3 years that will be nothing. It's almost like getting married again, I can see the appeal mid-life crisis have. I get to play with something that is new, smaller, faster and more maneuverable than what I have now....ummm...gets me thinking about my husband. Well that's another blog. It makes me giddy thinking about it and I don't even have it yet. So Merry Christmas to me!!! Santa, you are a good man! I can't wait to get the box and rip it open. I know that I will be a lion on a fresh kill, protecting it from other predators...my kids and husband. So now I sit anxiously waiting with my fossil, soon I might be able to put the remains in the gas tank.
So when I am working on my website, I have to close down everything but the bones and it still runs like mud. It takes me hours, yep I said hours, to work a few changes on the site. Usually I leave this kind of thing to after-hours or home alone time because it could take me a day or more to work through something major.
I know that I needed a new one about 18 months ago when I received a message that I couldn't run a program because my Operating System was out-of-date. So I did what all good moms do, I ignored it until I knew I had to deal with it. No sense tackling something on the first noise, why waste the energy until you have to, there is always 15 more things that are clamoring for attention. But I have reached that point of no return. I've cleaned and cleaned my disk space, defraged and deleted unnecessary files, but there is no more room.
I remember when 30 gigs was HUGE. Now I am getting 320 gigs...seems enormous, but I know that in 3 years that will be nothing. It's almost like getting married again, I can see the appeal mid-life crisis have. I get to play with something that is new, smaller, faster and more maneuverable than what I have now....ummm...gets me thinking about my husband. Well that's another blog. It makes me giddy thinking about it and I don't even have it yet. So Merry Christmas to me!!! Santa, you are a good man! I can't wait to get the box and rip it open. I know that I will be a lion on a fresh kill, protecting it from other predators...my kids and husband. So now I sit anxiously waiting with my fossil, soon I might be able to put the remains in the gas tank.
Candle are cool!
So I am sitting here working on some information for one of my hostesses that I have for Partylite. I was gathering information for her about the specials for the next few months, working very diligently. What I love is that I am doing the same work as a 9-5'er, but I get to wear my PJ's, yep still have them on, walk around barefoot, and sit in a pile of votives. Why am I sitting in a pile of votives you ask??? Well, I have some older fragrances in their sampler boxes that I let my girls play with and they are scattered all around my chair. They don't stack as nicely as blocks, but they like removing the wicks from them, apparently highly entertaining. I must say that I like the new scent in my office, very nice aroma.
So I am working, emails, research and all that fun stuff. Made some phone calls and started organizing for a show I am doing on Friday. I love this. This is why I do this and why I don't work for someone else any more. Well minus the fact I am overly opinionated and like things my way...well...anyway. I can work around my girls, work for about an hour or so and then come back when I've made the girls lunch and subjected them to their naps. I get to go out on Friday nights and visit, talk and just be an adult...boy, that is really the best part for me. Being an adult. How many times can you say..."Please put that away.", "Don't touch your sister.", "Leave your brother alone.", "Close the bathroom door." before you go a little nuts. I REALLY look forward to my shows. Sometimes I wonder if I scare my hostess because I am really happy they invited me into their homes.
I don't care how big the show is because I get to talk with new people and some I already know..then I get to catch up with them. I love driving anywhere, because it guarantees me "Me-time", which is a precious commodity when you are a Mom. Just going to the bathroom seems to be an Olympic event, must be watched, judged and discussed despite the door you've closed for privacy. I've even hid in my office, but since the house isn't that big, they always seem to find me. Whatcha gonna do?
Plus this outlet gives me a justification for my candle addiction. And to say that I am a snob now would be an true understatement. I find myself sneering as I go by the "store" candles. I really don't mean to judgemental, but now that I know what quality is, I just can't go back. It's like when I flew first class, WOW, it's was like I was a princess riding in her coach. Now tell me, who in their right mind would want to go back to bus? When you know quality, you definitely enjoy it, especially when it's worth the price. The price is always a factor, but I've gotten to the age where I want quality not quantity.
The best part of this whole thing is that I work when I want to. I've been doing this Partylite gig for about 5 years. Wow, it's been that long...who knew? I enjoy just doing shows. I found my niche for now and maybe later it will change. Others do it for the full-time job, but I like what I have. It's allows me to work around my schedule when and how often, how can you beat that? I definitely would not have started this if it wasn't for the fact that it was free to start. I looked at Pamper Chef, Passion Parties, Avon, MaryKay but they all required an up front fee and stock...didn't have and didn't want to put that kind of money into something I wasn't sure I wanted to do. But once I knew that I wouldn't be forking out cash for a Partylite business and I would get free stuff with no real commitment other than that to try it. I signed up. Been loving it ever since. Sometimes I wish I could start over just to get the new kits, they are bloody awesome. A lot of fun stuff to play with. Of course the down side is that I have a ton of stuff, some I give as gifts and some I have traded for other things, like a bunk-bed. But I never have enough candles, burn through them like butter. For professional and private. So I keep myself in business to keep my habit in check. Always a pay off somewhere.
So I am working, emails, research and all that fun stuff. Made some phone calls and started organizing for a show I am doing on Friday. I love this. This is why I do this and why I don't work for someone else any more. Well minus the fact I am overly opinionated and like things my way...well...anyway. I can work around my girls, work for about an hour or so and then come back when I've made the girls lunch and subjected them to their naps. I get to go out on Friday nights and visit, talk and just be an adult...boy, that is really the best part for me. Being an adult. How many times can you say..."Please put that away.", "Don't touch your sister.", "Leave your brother alone.", "Close the bathroom door." before you go a little nuts. I REALLY look forward to my shows. Sometimes I wonder if I scare my hostess because I am really happy they invited me into their homes.
I don't care how big the show is because I get to talk with new people and some I already know..then I get to catch up with them. I love driving anywhere, because it guarantees me "Me-time", which is a precious commodity when you are a Mom. Just going to the bathroom seems to be an Olympic event, must be watched, judged and discussed despite the door you've closed for privacy. I've even hid in my office, but since the house isn't that big, they always seem to find me. Whatcha gonna do?
Plus this outlet gives me a justification for my candle addiction. And to say that I am a snob now would be an true understatement. I find myself sneering as I go by the "store" candles. I really don't mean to judgemental, but now that I know what quality is, I just can't go back. It's like when I flew first class, WOW, it's was like I was a princess riding in her coach. Now tell me, who in their right mind would want to go back to bus? When you know quality, you definitely enjoy it, especially when it's worth the price. The price is always a factor, but I've gotten to the age where I want quality not quantity.
The best part of this whole thing is that I work when I want to. I've been doing this Partylite gig for about 5 years. Wow, it's been that long...who knew? I enjoy just doing shows. I found my niche for now and maybe later it will change. Others do it for the full-time job, but I like what I have. It's allows me to work around my schedule when and how often, how can you beat that? I definitely would not have started this if it wasn't for the fact that it was free to start. I looked at Pamper Chef, Passion Parties, Avon, MaryKay but they all required an up front fee and stock...didn't have and didn't want to put that kind of money into something I wasn't sure I wanted to do. But once I knew that I wouldn't be forking out cash for a Partylite business and I would get free stuff with no real commitment other than that to try it. I signed up. Been loving it ever since. Sometimes I wish I could start over just to get the new kits, they are bloody awesome. A lot of fun stuff to play with. Of course the down side is that I have a ton of stuff, some I give as gifts and some I have traded for other things, like a bunk-bed. But I never have enough candles, burn through them like butter. For professional and private. So I keep myself in business to keep my habit in check. Always a pay off somewhere.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Fabrics, Fabrics, Fabrics
I walk through the door, my eyes take a minute to adjust to the dimmer light from outside. I let the door slide close behind me and just inhale the scent. It is the first thing to hit my senses, a sweet, homespun, medicinal aroma that embraces me like a warm childhood memory. My eyes begin to absorb all the colors, the kaleidoscope is almost overwhelming. I start walking selecting an isle at random, no purpose other than to immerse myself in the moment. My fingers brush the textures gently, I can feel the patterns and colors through my finger tips and it excites me.
A voice calls to me, "Let me know if I can help you."
I smile because I know that I will not be able to walk out without purchasing something. I feel the tug, the need for one of these beautiful fabrics to call my own. A chuckle bubble up from the back of my throat, I am amused that I think I can stop with only one. I nod at the clerk, but continue on my quest.
It doesn't matter what name the store is called, where it is located, it is a mecca to me. The only way to save me is not to go in. But I am drawn despite my best efforts. Sometimes the effort to stay away is more than I can bear and I must give in.
Purples, greens, yellows, reds and more tease me with their own unique energy. My skin becomes more sensitive and responds to the racks of textiles. Each one is special, but I wait, quieting my soul and wait. I know that I will hear the siren call of that fabric, the one I must have. Sometimes I need it for my projects, other times, I just have to have it.
I then become two separate halves of myself. One side lets the color wash over her and becomes part of the design, the other focuses in on the details and begins the analysis for what is needed. That is the side that keeps me on track, keeps me from taking home everything.
Suddenly I stop, my hand stills and I know. This is what I want, what I need. The colors are bold, the pattern dances enticingly across the bolt. My other side decides how much of it I can afford. I contemplate the price and my halves make an agreement, how much I can afford versus what I want. The deal is made. I slide the bolt from between the other creations that it is nestled between.
I continue on my way, hearing the whispering songs of the other fabrics, tantalizing me with their sensuality and beauty. My other side decides that is all I need and I am forced to comply. I shuffle up to the cutting counter and place my treasure on top. My child-within is delighted with my find and eagerly awaits her prize. I let my other side select the quantity and enjoy the moment of my conquest.
The clerk slides the bolt fabric off, opening the whole scene and displays it like an offering to the gods. I hear the bolt thump on the counter and the fabric swish into place to be cut. The rotary knife slices cleanly through both layers of fabric with only a slight whoosh. The clerk folds the rectangle piece of heaven into a more manageable size and calculates the purchase total. I feel my palms twitch, waiting to hold my prize. The clerk hands me slip and the fold fabric, a signal that we are done with our interaction.
I turn to go pay for my purchase but look longingly over my shoulder at the rest of the bolt. I wish I could take all of it home with me. I never know if I have enough for what I need. I let a sign of regret whisper through my lips and turn to continue to the register.
I clutch my fabric to me breast and give the new clerk my paper slip. While I watch her ring up my purchase, my mind begins to imagine how I can use this gorgeous creation. I know that it will begin to take on different hues depending on what it lies next to. I am drawn back into the moment as the transaction is done and I walk out the doors. I feel a tearing in my soul as I leave. I so want to stay. I know that all day would never be enough time, but I promise myself, I will be back. For this is my mecca and I will make another pilgrimage.
A voice calls to me, "Let me know if I can help you."
I smile because I know that I will not be able to walk out without purchasing something. I feel the tug, the need for one of these beautiful fabrics to call my own. A chuckle bubble up from the back of my throat, I am amused that I think I can stop with only one. I nod at the clerk, but continue on my quest.
It doesn't matter what name the store is called, where it is located, it is a mecca to me. The only way to save me is not to go in. But I am drawn despite my best efforts. Sometimes the effort to stay away is more than I can bear and I must give in.
Purples, greens, yellows, reds and more tease me with their own unique energy. My skin becomes more sensitive and responds to the racks of textiles. Each one is special, but I wait, quieting my soul and wait. I know that I will hear the siren call of that fabric, the one I must have. Sometimes I need it for my projects, other times, I just have to have it.
I then become two separate halves of myself. One side lets the color wash over her and becomes part of the design, the other focuses in on the details and begins the analysis for what is needed. That is the side that keeps me on track, keeps me from taking home everything.
Suddenly I stop, my hand stills and I know. This is what I want, what I need. The colors are bold, the pattern dances enticingly across the bolt. My other side decides how much of it I can afford. I contemplate the price and my halves make an agreement, how much I can afford versus what I want. The deal is made. I slide the bolt from between the other creations that it is nestled between.
I continue on my way, hearing the whispering songs of the other fabrics, tantalizing me with their sensuality and beauty. My other side decides that is all I need and I am forced to comply. I shuffle up to the cutting counter and place my treasure on top. My child-within is delighted with my find and eagerly awaits her prize. I let my other side select the quantity and enjoy the moment of my conquest.
The clerk slides the bolt fabric off, opening the whole scene and displays it like an offering to the gods. I hear the bolt thump on the counter and the fabric swish into place to be cut. The rotary knife slices cleanly through both layers of fabric with only a slight whoosh. The clerk folds the rectangle piece of heaven into a more manageable size and calculates the purchase total. I feel my palms twitch, waiting to hold my prize. The clerk hands me slip and the fold fabric, a signal that we are done with our interaction.
I turn to go pay for my purchase but look longingly over my shoulder at the rest of the bolt. I wish I could take all of it home with me. I never know if I have enough for what I need. I let a sign of regret whisper through my lips and turn to continue to the register.
I clutch my fabric to me breast and give the new clerk my paper slip. While I watch her ring up my purchase, my mind begins to imagine how I can use this gorgeous creation. I know that it will begin to take on different hues depending on what it lies next to. I am drawn back into the moment as the transaction is done and I walk out the doors. I feel a tearing in my soul as I leave. I so want to stay. I know that all day would never be enough time, but I promise myself, I will be back. For this is my mecca and I will make another pilgrimage.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Good Ol' Doc
So I took Ayla in to the doctor to see what the "lump" was all about. Yep, I called as soon as I got up and left a message at their office that I needed an appointment today. Did I get it, you bet! They are amazing at the office and Dr. Bridge is a jewel. He has a thing for Jelly Beans, M&M's and silly ties.
The official diagnose (so far) is Cat Scratch Fever, treatment antibiotics. But the rub was that he wasn't sure what it was. Gee whiz, am I the only one who hates to hear doctors say that? Their confusion and stabbing in the dark always worries me. I know they aren't God, but if they don't know, then we rely on their "best guess". I would rather go play at a casino with my "best guess" then throw the dice with my kids health. But that is what I get to do. Play the odds and go from there. Not the happiest course, but a course none-the-less. I like having action, so I guess that's something. Plus, I do trust the kid's doc, he is thorough and thoughtful about his diagnosis and I know if he didn't know or have a best guess, he would find out.
The official diagnose (so far) is Cat Scratch Fever, treatment antibiotics. But the rub was that he wasn't sure what it was. Gee whiz, am I the only one who hates to hear doctors say that? Their confusion and stabbing in the dark always worries me. I know they aren't God, but if they don't know, then we rely on their "best guess". I would rather go play at a casino with my "best guess" then throw the dice with my kids health. But that is what I get to do. Play the odds and go from there. Not the happiest course, but a course none-the-less. I like having action, so I guess that's something. Plus, I do trust the kid's doc, he is thorough and thoughtful about his diagnosis and I know if he didn't know or have a best guess, he would find out.
A lump
I found a lump last night. Not on myself, but on my daughter. To me that scared me worse than if it was me. At first I thought it was her little breast bud, but it wasn't in the right place. Then when she kept saying "Ouch" every time I touched it. I thought maybe she hurt herself, her rib or just a bruise, but it moves separate from the rib and under the skin. That is when the greasy, oily, black knot of fear coiled in my belly. My next debate came deciding if I should take her into the hospital, it was late at night. But what could they do with her, it didn't appear to be affecting her motor functions, she could still use her arm and shoulder, it was just a spot that jutted out from her body. A little piece of hell.
So of course I start thinking about the big "C". What ifs run through my mind, wondering of what it is, what it could be, worries that I can do nothing about. I don't want to be one of "Those People". Those parents that realize how truly fragile your child is. Those people that watch their little baby suffer and feel that helpless frustration. Those people that walk that line between what was and what could be. My stomach aches from the knowledge that this could be for her. This could be the road she needs to walk, but it makes me so incredibly sad and angry.
But I don't know yet, and that is the worst. Now I just wait until I see the doctor. Or wait if he can't tell us and see another. I don't know. The potential for what it could be scares me and I hope that I am worrying for nothing, that it's just a bruise or something else innocuous. Now I just wait. And I pray.
So of course I start thinking about the big "C". What ifs run through my mind, wondering of what it is, what it could be, worries that I can do nothing about. I don't want to be one of "Those People". Those parents that realize how truly fragile your child is. Those people that watch their little baby suffer and feel that helpless frustration. Those people that walk that line between what was and what could be. My stomach aches from the knowledge that this could be for her. This could be the road she needs to walk, but it makes me so incredibly sad and angry.
But I don't know yet, and that is the worst. Now I just wait until I see the doctor. Or wait if he can't tell us and see another. I don't know. The potential for what it could be scares me and I hope that I am worrying for nothing, that it's just a bruise or something else innocuous. Now I just wait. And I pray.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Titles
I had a conversation with a good friend of mine not too long about about titles. Not just titles, like Mr. or Mrs., the essences of titles and what they mean to our identity. My friend and I are both "stay-at-home mothers" which means to the outside world, sit at home and eat bon-bons. To other @home moms we are amazing, multi-tasking, dynamos that need monuments or metals for all the unappreciated, unrealized and unrated attention we get.
She was brimming with anger for the responses she had been receiving from people in her life. The disdain others, i.e. doctors, teachers, PTA, family members were giving her because staying at home was "all she was doing".
I laughed at that. Can you believe such malarkey? I can't! My back has never hurt more, my feet have never throbbed more, I have never been more exhausted and I never ever seem to be able to finish my projects. Gee whiz, I bet that's not a problem for people who have "jobs". Who have a title they can bank on.
What we realized in our lively discussion is that without a title to "bank" on (money in the bank), you really aren't considered a viable person in society. If you can't show your worth via income and a title, who are you? After you ask someone their name, don't you ask a person what they "do"? Because we all know that defines the person, more so with men than women, but what we do gives us a facet.
So is being a mommy enough? That is what we debated back and forth and what we both concluded...Hell No! At least not for us. I believe in being at home for my kids with all my heart, but does it fulfill me? Not entirely. That drives me to do other things to fill that part in me that needs more of an identity. Volunteering, creating, designing, doing. That way when someone asks, what do you do...I can answer, how do you mean? In my personal, professional, private, spiritual life?
I watched an interview from a well know journalist (name escapes me now), female, who quit her job to stay at home with her kids. She went on to write a very controversial article about how she loved her kids, but didn't really like them. Well, you can imagine the response that got!!! Oooohh...she was flamed! How dare she say that and what a bad mother she was. What she was trying to say was that, she loved her kids and wanted to be there for them, but they didn't entirely fulfill her. She wanted more, craved more in her soul. I could identify with her.
Ironically the people who are most critical are working mothers. Which I would have thought would be the most sympathetic or more empathic to stay at home mothers. But after watching a really horrific Oprah about the opposing sides, WOW, it blew my mind. I couldn't believe the amount of prejudice and disdain working moms had for at home moms. Made me wonder what side we were all on.
In my wondering I have hit upon a theory; we (moms) are so caught up in our kids and husbands and what their needs are, we forget ourselves. We forget we are and were interesting people before. Before we met our spouses, before we gave birth. We went to college, attended art shows, plays, concerts. We write stories, drew pictures, sang beautiful songs...before. We did so many things before we became "MOM".
We let "MOM" define us and forget that we have a name. We are more than so-and-so's mom, more than so-and-so's wife. We forget that we can be separate than our family. That we have an identity beyond them and separate from them, that it is all ours. But of course, that comes with a price. Guilt. And for some, it's worth paying. But for others, the alternative is creating a headstone for wonderful and dear women that this world should know.
She was brimming with anger for the responses she had been receiving from people in her life. The disdain others, i.e. doctors, teachers, PTA, family members were giving her because staying at home was "all she was doing".
I laughed at that. Can you believe such malarkey? I can't! My back has never hurt more, my feet have never throbbed more, I have never been more exhausted and I never ever seem to be able to finish my projects. Gee whiz, I bet that's not a problem for people who have "jobs". Who have a title they can bank on.
What we realized in our lively discussion is that without a title to "bank" on (money in the bank), you really aren't considered a viable person in society. If you can't show your worth via income and a title, who are you? After you ask someone their name, don't you ask a person what they "do"? Because we all know that defines the person, more so with men than women, but what we do gives us a facet.
So is being a mommy enough? That is what we debated back and forth and what we both concluded...Hell No! At least not for us. I believe in being at home for my kids with all my heart, but does it fulfill me? Not entirely. That drives me to do other things to fill that part in me that needs more of an identity. Volunteering, creating, designing, doing. That way when someone asks, what do you do...I can answer, how do you mean? In my personal, professional, private, spiritual life?
I watched an interview from a well know journalist (name escapes me now), female, who quit her job to stay at home with her kids. She went on to write a very controversial article about how she loved her kids, but didn't really like them. Well, you can imagine the response that got!!! Oooohh...she was flamed! How dare she say that and what a bad mother she was. What she was trying to say was that, she loved her kids and wanted to be there for them, but they didn't entirely fulfill her. She wanted more, craved more in her soul. I could identify with her.
Ironically the people who are most critical are working mothers. Which I would have thought would be the most sympathetic or more empathic to stay at home mothers. But after watching a really horrific Oprah about the opposing sides, WOW, it blew my mind. I couldn't believe the amount of prejudice and disdain working moms had for at home moms. Made me wonder what side we were all on.
In my wondering I have hit upon a theory; we (moms) are so caught up in our kids and husbands and what their needs are, we forget ourselves. We forget we are and were interesting people before. Before we met our spouses, before we gave birth. We went to college, attended art shows, plays, concerts. We write stories, drew pictures, sang beautiful songs...before. We did so many things before we became "MOM".
We let "MOM" define us and forget that we have a name. We are more than so-and-so's mom, more than so-and-so's wife. We forget that we can be separate than our family. That we have an identity beyond them and separate from them, that it is all ours. But of course, that comes with a price. Guilt. And for some, it's worth paying. But for others, the alternative is creating a headstone for wonderful and dear women that this world should know.
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